My world is surrounded by U

my lil precious

Caleb, i love u ..

finally my lil precious is out frm my stomach
all i want to say to him is
welcome to this world
alot of ppls say he look like me ..
but i feel he is much more better looking den me
lol ..
although looking after him is so tiring
but i feel everything is worth it :)
i feel life is so amazing
recalled back when i first had my utrascan
he is just a lil small dot
and nw, im hugging and carrying him on my arm
God creation is so amazing and great !!
since the day i discharge frm the hospital
i haven been slping well
caleb always so active at night ..
haix .. i hope he can change this habit soon
if not i will be a panda soon
hahahah ...
today went to do caleb birth certificate ..
den must do all the declaration as i am a single mother
so caleb will be under my surname ..
as i am doing my confinement
i have been locking at hm for a weeks plus
since i got the chance to go out ..
so after the registration ..
i went suntec for a walk
lol :)
this yr new yr
caleb got alots of hongbao
hahah
he choose a good date to come to this world
hahaha

people come and go ..

People come and go, who would truly stay ??
nothing last forever .. nobody will stay forever too ..

小宝宝，妈妈真的好累。
妈妈好想放弃，请你给我坚持下去的勇气。

if i could choose ..
i would choose to close my eyes and nv wake up
if i could hope ..
i would hope that i nv met u
if i could wish ..
i would wish that someone can stay by my side
if i could dream ..
i would dream of a perfect love

i thought i was strong enough

life is getting so hard for me..
i thought i was strong enough
but NO ..
little words or actions can crush me right now ..
prehap caleb was the only reason left for me to hang on ..
my mum has been giving me alot of pressure ..
she may seem supportive,
she may seem to accept,
but there's still part of her struggling ..
i knw it's hard for her too ..
but she has to knw it's even double harder for me
emotionally and physically ..
being a single mother, all i could say is
it is a lonely and tough path ...
no matter how much supporters or friends ..
it doesn't change the facts of being lonely and cold ..
the hole inside my heart can nv be cover up so easily
now i really feel so lost .. so lonely .. so frustrated ..
that i dunno the way to the future ..
im no longer alone .. i have to think for caleb
i have to be responsible to him
i so afraid to walk this path ..
i so afraid i cant do a good job ..
i so afraid of alot alot of things
how much i wish for a someone to share this burden with me
how much i wish i could be stronger ..
how much i wish things doesn't happened this way ..
whr shld i go .. wat shld i do ..
who can be thr .. who will stay ..
i want to give caleb the best ..
but a child without a father ..
is like a puzzle with a missing piece ..
can nv be perfect ..
what can i do to provide him the best ..
what can i do to give myself too
God will nv give trials that ppls cant go through
Father god, u think too highly of me ..
there is too much uncertain for me ..
too much for me to bear
the more i want to do the best ..
the more i failed
who will really understand this feeling of mine ..
i dun dare to think .. to dream to hope ..
god u hear my cry ?? my cry to u ..